There are very few things in this life that I regret. I’ve done a lot; seen a lot; and been through more than one person should be able to handle. But one thing I will always regret is not putting myself first sooner. I have consistently been the “shoulder to cry on”, the “sober one to bring everyone home”, the “level-headed one that can understand both sides of the argument”. I’ve always been the person to be leaned on- and hardly ever the one doing the leaning. I’ve discovered lately that finding the people like me to lean on has gotten increasingly difficult and rare. I think we all deserve a little bit of time to be selfish and focus on ourselves. I’d never say that it is a bad thing- but part of being human is feeling things- happiness, sadness, and sometimes pain too. There are only so many times one person can be shot down before they give up completely. There is no way that we can learn to love others correctly if we don’t know how to love ourselves correctly, and I honestly think that its bullshit that we’re all so scared of being called selfish. How can we adequately relate to other humans if we are all hiding our own emotions and feelings of wanting to be appreciated? Why is it so frowned upon to do things that benefit ourselves? I get strange stares every time I walk into a restaurant alone. People look at me with sorry eyes like I didn’t choose to be there. This generation is so focused on opinions of others and how many likes they can get in a fake virtual reality that they pass by the human emotions inside of them. It’s really time that we all start acting like we give a fuck about our own well being and stop caring who’s watching.
So if you don’t hear from me and you think I’m a “bitch” or I’m not focused enough on YOUR expectations- well then please keep on waiting to hear from me.