An Open Letter to Fathers…

An open letter to fathers:
Being a father consists of so many more things than just simply producing a child. I honestly don’t care how you got to be one; be it an accident, on purpose, unknowingly, or even just one drunken night. All of that is irrelevant to me. 

I’M YOUR DAUGHTER. 

I’m hoping to stand up for daughters everywhere with a less than perfect relationship with their fathers. I get it. We all make mistakes. We all have things happen to us that weren’t expected or weren’t part of that big plan you had as a teenager. I think by our adult lives, we can expect to make a million mistakes, and that’s ok. The real test though is how you handle or correct these mistakes. You deserve a night out here and there. You deserve to go to dinner and hang out with friends. But let’s get real: when you are a parent, a lot of these things get pushed to the side because your child is your priority. You know, that living, breathing PERSON you created??? Again, I don’t care how it happened. An accident? Ok. Guess what? This is your life now. You’re going to carry on your old ways and pretend you don’t have to be a parent because it “was an accident”? I have no sympathy. I didn’t ask to be here. As children, we don’t pre-exist in some parallel universe and subconsciously ask your permission to be born. YOU, as parents, brought us here. And there we are, poor helpless babies, relying on YOU to turn us into decent human beings. Here’s the kicker though: usually, if you suck at being a parent, chances are, your kid might suck too. It’s so unfortunate because we have the capacity to be these amazing, caring and loving individuals, and some of us may not get that option. If we come from a place of anger, disrespect and controversy, what do you expect us to be like??? 

     To all the parents who separate and then marry someone else: Please be sure that you’re not bringing Satan into your child’s life. If you can’t open your eyes and see YOUR spouse, the new person YOU chose, being abusive to YOUR child… You don’t deserve to have that respect from that child. If they tell you that your spouse is abusive, mean and manipulative, you better get your shit together and listen because what kind of person would that make you, turning a blind eye?? Despite what you might think, your kids need you in more ways than one. They need to feel like you care about them. They need to feel like you are loving and protecting them. I don’t care how old your kids get, they still need a father. I’m almost 30 years old and there are days when all I want is my dad to return a text message. 

     Sometimes we get so removed from this world by what we consider “normalcy” that we don’t even know what it’s supposed to be like. I watched my best friend have a phone conversation with her dad yesterday and it actually hurt me to listen to it. She had him on speaker and he sounded so happy to be talking to her. He didn’t ignore the call or sound irritated by her and the crazy gardening questions she was asking him. He was laughing and playing along. And at the end of the call, he made sure to say “I love you” first. I think every parent needs to understand that your kids are capable of amazing things. We are adults now, but that doesn’t mean we don’t need you. We were taught to be respectful, but we were also taught that respect should be reciprocated. If I were you, I’d make sure I was doing my part, and I’d make sure that I can go back on my past decisions and be confident that they were the right ones. If you can’t do that as a parent, and know you gave it 150%, then I think maybe it’s time to reevaluate your life before it’s beyond repair.